I went to check on the kids and was surprised to see Owen wearing clothes. They were playing house and he was the daddy going to work. It didnt last too long. Pretty soon he was the daddy dinosaur going to work, of course they dont wear clothes, a tie maybe but thats all.

A funny: Owen had a large screwdriver in his toolbox. When I asked him where he got it from, he said "from Jeff's talking pet leopard seal." (jeff is our neighbor) Pretty good imagination I thought.

Perrie's Lunch and an Unexpected Visitor

Perrie ate Owen's lunch before he came to get it so I made her make him something (a PB sandwich) This is what she came up with. Instead of Owen, a surprise visitor showed up for lunch.

Little Plum in action

Callie eating a golden plum- Her very favorite. We've learned to just strip her down when she eats, however, she already likes to undo the tape on her diapers.

Real Moms Secrets Roundup

Real Moms Know Secret #10
A Mother Who Takes Time For Her Children Helps Them Build Strong Relationships
For Moms:Stay Engaged
Benefit for Kids: Healthy and Loving Attachments
The strongest and most consistent predictor of childrens mental health, adjustment, happiness and well being is the level of involvement of their parents in their life. Children with involved parents do better in school, feel better about themselves, are less likely to take risks or get into trouble. This is true whether your child is an infant, teenager, or any point inbetween.

Real Moms Know Secret #11
A Mother Who Laughs Teaches Joy
For Moms: Be Lighthearted
Benefit for Kids: Happiness and Joy
A big part of creating a happy family is those simple, joyous, fun moments of just plain laughing and enjoying each other. Sometimes you can plan them, but more often they are spontaneous and you just have to tune in and go with the flow. Relax and let go every once in a while. Let your kids see you laugh and have fun. It teaches your children one of the best lessons of resilience: to laugh and enjoy life.

I love this secret. We have wanted to have a food fight in our back yard. One of these days it will happen with whip cream, pudding, spaghetti and all kids of messy stuff. Holidays can be silly, like leprechaun tricks on st pats day or April fools jokes. Traditions like game night or camping can create great memories and fun or just building forts together and playing pretend.

Real Moms Know Secret #12
A Mother Who Takes Care of Herself Holds Together Her Happy Family
For Moms: Stay Balanced
Benefit for Kids: Happiness, Optimism, & Security
This secret makes all others possible. What your kids really need is a genuine, healthy, and energized woman who enjoys not only her family but also life. Stephen Covey calls it “Sharpening the Saw, or Self-Renewal.” You have to take time out for you so you can be more effective in your life. When you find time to nourish yourself (socially, emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally) your family will be more likely to appreciate the real you: an interesting, evolving, happier woman who loves them and loves life. Simple everyday examples are working in the garden, reading or writing, taking a class, meditating, spending time with friends, soaking in the tub, exercising, making goals, or going on a date with your husband. These all teach children the importance of finding balance. Don’t get too caught up in schedules, cleaning or volunteering. Make time for you.

Ignorance is not Bliss

Ok, I’m reading too many health books lately but one leads to another. My latest is called "Disease Proof Your Child". Here are a few things I learned:

*A baby’s body is designed to breastfeed until age 2. They can absorb the antibodies for their fragile immune systems from mother’s milk up till that age.

*An adult’s DNA is wound up tight like a rubber band ball, but a child’s DNA is unwound and loose because it is still producing a lot of cells. Therefore it is very susceptible to damage.

*It can take 30-40 years for damage and disease to show up. Victims from the Hiroshima bomb did not come down with radiation cancer for 45 years! This means what you feed and expose your child to now (pesticides, hormones, antibiotics) very well might affect if they get cancer, heart disease, or diabetes when they are adults.

*Various studies indicate the more animal products in the diet, the greater the cancer occurrence, especially breast cancer and prostate. But the more fruit and vegetables in the diet, the less cancer they found.

*In our modern world vegetarians do not get enough vitamin B12, however, there is plenty of B12 in the bugs, bacteria and dirt that grows on nuts, seeds, grains, & plants. They just get washed off. So if you know where your food comes from, maybe we shouldn’t wash it so much. Papa says organic means buggy. I guess we really need those bugs after all.

August

August has flown by. We are sad to see the end of summer in sight.
Callie turned 6 months, sits up by herself and can roll anywhere she wants to. She was very eager to start eating real food and is slowly trying new things. Her favorite is plums! At our gardenspot there is a plum tree and she knows she is going to get one. I peel off the skin, hold tight to the pit and let her suck it dry. She devours it. (I've yet to get a picture, but am determined.) She loves people & being outside. We are blessed. She is a very sweet girl.


Owen continues his passion for dinosaurs. He is full of fun. Today at church he told his teacher his pet dinosaur was sleeping in his dad's pocket. He will start a 2day preschool this fall. We are excited for him to make some new friends.



Perrie and David went on thier annual backpacking trip and really had fun. She caught her first fish all by herself and learned how to fly fish. She really loves this one on one time with daddy. (I'm a bit jealous myself)

Real Moms Know Secret #9
A Mother Who Accepts Her Children’s Shortcomings Nurtures Resilience
For Moms: Be Accepting
Benefit for Kids: Optimism & a Bounceback Attitude

Stresses and handicaps are facts of life. Though we cannot eliminate childhood pressures, we can minimize their impact by nurturing our children’s talents and strengths.
Professors studied the childhoods of 400 creatively gifted and talented people, including Einstein, Roosevelt, Gandhi, Edison and Churchill. They were startled to discover that three-fourths of these individuals had trememdous handicaps in their lives, including physical, emotional & learning problems as well as alcoholic or abuse parents. What helped them become so successful? From an early age each individual had a significant someone help them recognize a hidden talent & encouraged its development.

Real Mothers Know- Secret #8

Real Moms Know Secret #8
A Mother Who Applauds Effort Nurtures Perseverance
For Moms:Be Affirmative
Benefit for Kids: Internal Motivation and Perseverance

Ever wonder why Asian students perform better academically than American students? An intensive study revealed that Asian parents strongly stress the value of efforts with their children and affirm over and over “Work as hard as you can and you will be successful.” American parents emphasize “What grade did you get?” “Did you win?” The effort a child puts into the process is not nearly important to an American parent as the end product or grade or score. This difference in “affirming style” had a remarkable effect. Asian children worked longer and harder, stuck with projects, and handled frustrations and failures better.

Just switching a pronoun can have a big difference, for example instead of saying “I’m really proud of your work” say “YOU must be really proud of YOUR efforts.” This takes the emphasis off your approval and puts it on your child’s efforts. We should really encourage this internal praise & encourage our children to stick with things. Some fun ways to applaud kids efforts are leaving notes around like in their lunch, under their pillow, or on the bathroom mirror.

Real Mothers Know-Secret #7

Secret#7
A Mother Who Encourages Independence Cultivates Self-Reliance
For Moms:
Plan for the Future
Benefit for Kids:
Self Reliance & Resourcefulness
Of course we don’t want our kids to fail, and of course we always want them to be successful, but always doing, picking up or mending fences for our kids sure wont help them learn to bounce back and survive on their own. Here is six steps to help your child become more self-reliant.
1. Identify what your child can do alone and then back off.
2. Stop Rescueing- no more excuses, they have to take responsibility.
3. Help children boost their organization skill.
4. Teach brainstorming so your child can solve problems without you.
5. Teach how to negotiate.
6. Talk about the future regularly.

The Tools

Owen has a passion for dinosaurs if you didn't know. This has been going on for almost 2 years now. We have read hundreds of dinosaur books and we are now reading all the "adult" dinosaur books. There is some great paleontologist diaries. He really believes he is a paleontologist too, and I guess in a way he is. He spends hours each day digging with his tools. He carries them around in his basket and finds a good excavation site. Then he neatly lays them all out for the dig. His paleontologist name is Nigel (his scientist hero) and sometimes he gets very upset if we don't call him this. In fact, we were at the pool yesterday making friends with another family. They asked Owen his name and he said Nigel. I was laughing pretty hard. We love his passion and respect for his tools. He always makes sure to bring them in and often they spend the night next to his bed. I think we will have to make another trip to Montana, this time to the badlands for some actually dino digs.

Real Mothers Know-Secret #6

Secret #6
A Mother Who Supports Her Children's Strenghts Builds Their Confidence

For Moms:
Know Your Child’s Unique Temperament
Benefit for Kids:
Confidence About Identity & Strengths
It's important to treat our children as individuals and avoid stereotypes or one-size-fits-all solutions. As mothers we need to tune in to understand our child’s uniqueness and help others recognize those positive qualities.
There is a great story in this book about a mother with a very active child. In preschool he had been labeled “hyperactive” by the teacher. His mother wanted to avoid this labeling in the future so she had a great way of saying “Don’t you just love Matt’s spirit?” Pretty soon others noticed his unique strengths too instead of his weaknesses.

Real Mothers Know- Secret #5

Secret #5 A Mother Who Teaches Values Inspires Character
For mothers: Be Intentional
Benefit for kids: Empathy, Strong Character, & Moral Compass

This book has various stories of kids who saw someone in need and wanted to help them. We need to encourage this in kids help them find constructive outlets for their feelings. Some parents are too busy, some might be scared to help a stranger or get involved in others business. It could be anything like collecting stuffed animals for sick kids, or food for homeless. I have known a few girls & boys who grew their hair to donate. Here is an exercise to do.

Step 1. Create a Family Value’s List. Some examples-caring, courteous, dependable, empathy,friendliness, generosity, love, honesty, peaceful, respectful, self-motivation, unselfish…

Step 2. Identify Your Top Three Family Values.

Step 3. Choose One Value to Nurture. Teach, be an example, look for ways to show this value, research the topic, think of all possible solutions, & praise children when they display the value.

Step 4. Repeat the process for as many values as you want.

Real Mothers Know- Secret #4

Secret #4 A Mother Who Is a Good Role Model Gives Her Children an Example Worth Copying
For mother: Be conscious of your example.
Benefit for children: Character, Values, and Love

If your child had only your actions to watch today, what would they learn? Kids learn a lot from our daily example. They tune into what makes us happy, sad, upset, scared, and then they mimic this behavior. They hear and copy how we talk about and treat others. They learn patience or impatience, compassion of indifference, tolerance or prejudices, frugality or materialism. What kind of role model are you in regards to:

*Health- Do you exercise regularly? Eat nutritious food? Have good sleep habits? Do you recognize stress and find ways to relax?
*Character, Integrity, and Moral Choices? - Are you honest & fair?
*Spiritual Values? - Do your children see you pray, or meditate, attend church & or read scriptures?
*Self Control? – like impulsive eating, handling your temper and good language
*Work Habits? – Do you do your best work, meet deadlines, and finish projects
*Service and Charity?- Do you volunteer and practice values of kindness & generosity?
*Etiquette and Civility? – Good manners, sending thank you notes, language
*Prejudices, superstitions, & fears? – Do you have biases or anxietys?
*Relationships? – How do you treat your spouse, friends, family, do you gossip?
*Life outlook? – Are you more positive or negative? Do you look for the good?
*Intellectual & cultural stimulation? – Do you make learning a priority? Do you visit museums, classes, discuss world issues or learn new hobbies?
*Financial Issues? – How are you about savings, budgeting, and appreciating value of money?

Yikes, this is a tough one. I better get crackin.

Real Mothers Know-Secret #3

Secret #3

A Mother Who Listens Shows Her Children They Matter

For Mothers: Pay Attention
Benefit for Kids: A feeling of significance and self acceptance
We need to listen, really listen to our kids. Get at eye level, make eye contact, stop everything else and listen with a full presence. Offer encouragement, acklowledge feelings, and provide assurance. This is also a great reason to have family meetings to talk about concerns and stay in touch with what is going on as they get older.

Real Mothers Know- Secret #2

Secret #2: A Mother Who is Firm & Fair Gives Her Children a Moral Code to Live By.

For mothers: Be consistent and just in your discipline

Benefit for Kids: A sense of responsibility and Inner Direction.

Here is 9 steps for squelching bad behaviors:

1.Establish Your rules

2.Deal with one bad behaviour at a time

3.Calmly connect with your child

4.Clarify your concerns

5.Suggest a Positive alternative

6. Explain consequences

7.Correct and follow thru with consequences

8.Be fair- (offer compromise, choices & joint problem solving)

9.Congratulate good efforts

12 Simple Secrets

My latest parenting book is “12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know” by Michele Borba. It really gets back to basics and concerns for raising happy kids. Want to know the secrets?

Secret 1. A MOTHER WHO LOVES TEACHES WORTH.

For mothers: Be Loving With No Strings Attached
Benefit for kids: Authentic Self Esteem

Is unconditional love like a happy, slobbering puppy glad to see you? Kind of, yes. I think of the love and excitement you give an infant or toddler, or when they do something new like walking for the first time. Our voice is excited, arms are open, eyes lit up just to be near them. We don’t care that their clothes are mismatched, they have a dirty face and diaper and are making a mess with toys everywhere. I should give my kids this attention at every age. They will grow up thinking they are important, that their opinions matter and are respected. They will believe in themselves.